I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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