I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
