so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
