We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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