I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
