They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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