Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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