please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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