quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
