I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
