Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
