Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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