Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
only you would photoshop your dick
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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