took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
