that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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