Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
