I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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