I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
