How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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