i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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