I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
