hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
