there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
