so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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