lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
