I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
