he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
