This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
