I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
