So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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