This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
