Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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