Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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