Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
