I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
