Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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