Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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