i just wanna soil my oats bro
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday