I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY