i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
