Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
be right there i have to get my cape
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
