thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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