through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
