so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
