Sry I called you an 8
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize