You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
