we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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