I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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