you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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