i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I currently don't understand fingers.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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