You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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