So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
