Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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