She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
