My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize