Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
