I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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