I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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