i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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