Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
