I'm jealous of your bromance
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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